Wine loosens the tongue; weed sets you free. After a few puffs, many people feel more relaxed, more introspective, or —even the toughest, prickliest types— start to open up emotionally. The right setting, next to the right person, can lead to deep, loving, and sometimes wild conversations. Smoking weed as a couple often helps you tune into each other’s feelings and drop the guard, making it easier to touch on things that might otherwise be hard (if not downright impossible) to discuss.
Shared goals? A deeper meaning to the relationship? Fears and insecurities? Alternative futures? Projects you want to lock in? Wild, uninhibited sex or even a vow of celibacy? Stuck topics that never seem to move forward? In that space, the “what ifs?” can easily become a reality. Marijuana can push the imagination’s edges and spark new emotional connections. So what about sex, desire, fantasies, and boundaries?
Of course, not everything has to be so solemn and transcendental: smoking weed as a couple can also ignite crazy conversations about past lives, aliens, conspiracies, and all kinds of absurd, hypothetical twists and turns. What was the last song you played on your Spotify? What do our pets really think of us? Do we have a doppelgänger somewhere else in the world? What happens if you mix Coke and Mentos? What do the stars say about our relationship? What if we ditched our city life and go grow coffee in the Bolivian mountains?
Experts say that cannabis can boost empathy, but also paranoia and anxiety. That’s why they suggest keeping the tone easy, respectful, and open-minded. Health pros don’t always recommend it for conversations that need a certain level of seriousness or sensitivity. Basically, it can alter your emotional state, and in that sense, it’s important to remember that “every couple is different.” Be careful what you do! Weed won’t replace the emotional work that could be done while sober.
“Topics to talk about while high? Good question,” says Martín Rieznik, seduction expert, director of LevantArte (an Argentine academy dedicated to social skills, coaching, and seduction since 2008) and director of the cannabis documentary A History of Prohibition. “I’d say one of the best —if not the best— is sex, a topic that’s rarely discussed. How many people have sex in silence, without exchanging a single word? Many people are embarrassed to talk about sex with their partners, and on this topic, the research is crystal clear: those who talk about sex openly have better sex. More satisfaction, more orgasms, more connection.”
In his latest book, The Orgasmic Gap, Rieznik cites a wealth of studies showing how to how communication enhance pleasure. Light one up, and our mind, body, and spirit can break from routine. With that shift, we allow ourselves to ask certain questions, play, and even fantasize. “All the things that, while sober, may sound solemn or forced, can feel lighthearted,” Rieznik says. “A word spoken with complicity can awaken a whole host of fantasies. And open up new worlds,” he continues.
Although it may seem hard to believe (and even more so in times of hypersexualization and social media), sex —its tastes, fantasies, and preferences— remains a topic that not all couples dare to bring up. This taboo still lingers. “That’s why I think a joint can be an entry point,” Rieznik states. Of course, it depends on how it hits you, and on how well you know yourself and your limits.
“There’s something almost all of us share: no one smokes weed to stay the same. We smoke to swap gears, to relax the body, the mind, to see —and say— things differently. And that small shift changes everything. Maybe, what you might hold back at another time slips out with a smile, between hits. And the other person hears it differently, too. Because they’re there with you, floating on the same cloud,” Rieznik muses.
And that’s where the magic happens, as the expert assures: “Desire is also learned through words.”He suggests using language that connects, invites, and ignites. “Talking about sex is also sex. And if weed helps you say what you don’t dare when you’re caught up in your daily routine, then it’s a welcome lubricant for words. Sometimes, amidst so much silence, a well-spoken phrase can be more of a turn on than any toy, cream, or erotic lingerie. And if that’s not reason enough to light one up, I don’t know what is,” he concludes.
The right person deserves a good joint to share. So honor both —the joint and the person— with a conversation worthy of the moment. Make it fun. Make it hot. Reclaim playful conversation. This is how you sculpt the delicate stone of a truth you carve together.
Photo via Pexels.
